Forever Searching: Mission Possible

Nearly every parent knows that unreal, terrifying feeling that etches itself onto your soul when you turn around and cannot see your child. I lost my son Richard in the middle of Birmingham city centre once when he was three. It was only minutes but it seemed like time stopped and each second felt like a never ending day.

In moments like that – of incredible fear and panic- your senses become heightened and everything seems surreal and distorted. You run the gauntlet of heightened emotions; first comes the tsunami of fear that paralyzes you, set against a background of unrelenting guilt and abject shame. Then come the ‘what ifs’ – what if a paedophile has taken him; what if he’s under a bus; what if I never see him again. This is followed by, and mixed with, the instant grief sandwiched between waves of utter despair and morbid panic.

The whole experience gets imprinted onto your subconscious in glorious 3D Technicolor will all the accompanying sounds, feelings, thoughts, emotions, smells..etc. It only takes a simple trigger to bring all of that flooding back, almost as if it is happening in again – which it is as your body holds the memory and never lets it go.

I was lucky, I found my son within minutes; he was playing with the Manikins in the shop window and entertaining a small crowd, as my legs buckled inside the store. The contrasting feeling of blissful joy when I found him was indescribable. I thanked every god that ever existed for his return. I held onto him for dear life and vowed to buy some superglue to fuse our hands together so that I never, ever experienced those feelings and that immobilizing pain again.

There are people, however, that never get to experience the happy ending, the thanking of gods, that blissful joy. For them the tsunami of fear is a constant state of being, a way of life, an unexpected career. I cannot begin to imagine, and to be brutally honest I won’t allow myself to imagine, what the families of missing children and adults must be living through. Like many other people I busy myself with mundane things and try to pretend they don’t exist and that there is nothing I can do for them, even if I did acknowledge their existence.

But when I do allow myself to think about what these families must be going through I feel shame. Shame that for the most part they are dealing with their own personal tsunami totally alone. We live in a society where drug addicts are given help and counselling; joy riders are sent on courses where they get to drive cars around a race track; prisoners get to complete a degree..etc. Families of missing children and adults are in contrast, left to their own devices at a time when they need as much help as we can possibly give them. They are drowning and yet we expect them to rescue themselves at a time when they cannot breathe let alone swim.

Thankfully there are people trying to throw them a lifeline, people who volunteer to help these families and get little or no help, financial or otherwise, from government. Why are convicted criminals deemed more worthy of government money and initiatives than the innocent families of missing children and adults? When did our priorities become so skewed?

Forever Searching is a volunteer organisation that seeks to redress the balance. They are actively lobbying the government on behalf of these families. That they need to do this should shame every member of Parliament and their constituents.

Below is Forever Searching’s press release for their latest initiative. It is a worthy cause and I would ask that people email their MP and express their support for “Early Day Motion” 1119.

FAMILIES OF THE MISSING NEED SUPPORT – LET US REMEMBER THE MISSING AND THEIR FAMILIES IN 2008

Every day, in every country children and adults go missing. This is fact. What support do those that are left behind get?

We are raising your awareness to a “Forever Searching” initiative.

On the 2nd April 2008 – every registered MP in the House of Commons, will receive a letter from “Forever Searching”, asking them to get behind and support “Early Day Motion” 1119.

Ann Winterton MP laid down an Early Day Motion in the house of commons, to start the process to bring about discussing this issue of how the Government can support the families of the missing. This was on the back of a request from the father of a missing child.

Families and Friends of Missing UK citizens who have gone missing in Britain and overseas, recently held a high profile march in London, the aims of this march was as follows:

1) Campaign for a counselling service for families of missing people in the UK and UK citizens missing abroad.

2) Raise public awareness of the serious problem of missing people.

3) Assist families of missing people with their local media to ensure that a missing person case receives immediate and widespread publicity.

4) Help families of missing persons to set up Internet websites with information and photographs of their missing relative(s).

5) Work with government and law enforcement agencies in order to maximise investigative and other resources in the search for missing persons.

6) Network with other missing person’s support groups in other countries in order to search for UK citizens missing abroad and to continue improving services both nationally and internationally.

7) Liaise with the Missing Person’s organisation in order to facilitate the best possible services for families of missing people.

There are not many people who would give up their spare time to actively take on the challenge of keeping the faces of Missing children, in the public domain. This is the sole purpose for the existence of “Forever Searching” a UK based group, made up solely of volunteers. For the last 6 months, this group have actively circulated thousands of images of missing children, using the Internet.

“Forever Searching” fully support the aims of the march, and we continue to assist the families by lobbying the government to take action, and to start supporting the families of missing people.

Please support this initiative by raising awareness of it – We need the British Government – to listen and to take action.

I thank you for your support
Kathy

I wish Kathy and her team good luck with their initiative.